Not a bad day at all today. I had a good day food wise at work, apple for breakfast, jacket potato and tuna for lunch. No snacks, and plenty of water. I feel quite good for it really.
I was thinking about the weekend earlier, and I think I’m still not quite over how big I’ve actually let myself become. The past few times Si and I have wanted to go out, I’ve had a major problem with finding something nice that will fit me. Each time I’ve let myself get incredibly frustrated and upset with myself, not only for not pre-planning and finding an outfit more than 30 minutes before we’re going out, but more because I’ve let myself grow bigger than these clothes will take. Friday was another example of this happening. I had been in town earlier in the day to find myself a new outfit. Now at the moment I have a major thing against trying clothes on, I just buy them and hope they fit. I think it is because I don’t want to have to admit to the bored attendent looking after the changing rooms that I cannot fit into their clothes. I do know this is ridiculous, but I am working on it…. So this Friday I went into Evans. Now I normally like Evans, they’re slightly expensive but the clothes they do are nice, and they are normally really good at consistent sizes. Consistent sizes are utterly important when you can only shop in one shop in town. I need to be able to walk into a shop and KNOW i will fit in the clothes size I normally fit into. At the moment, for tops I go for a 22, trousers are a 20. Anyway, Friday, there I was like a kid in a sweet shop. There was a sale on! Evans sales are brilliant, as there is normally a diamond among the riff raff that is the horrible trackie bottoms and ruffled blouses that they seem to still stock even though they ALWAYS end up in the sales. So I find this lovely tunic, it is a scoop neck, but not too low. It is long, long enough to be worn as a dress by my tiny 5 foot 2 inch stature. And boom! it’s a size 26. That means 1. it will be flowy, 2. as I say before, it is going to be long enough for me to not worry and wear it as a dress, and 3. it won’t, by any means, be too tight around my chest! Bargin. And it’s only a tenner. I should have known it was too good to be true. I get home, and try it on. Yes, it fits… “alright”. Yes, it is long enough to wear it with leggings. But it’s pulling in all the wrong places. I felt trapped in it, not free and flowing like I expected. I double checked that it was a 26 – and yes it was! I’d hate to see someone who is actually a 26 try to fit into this tunic, as I don’t think it would have happened.
I think what I’m trying to get across is that I bought something that is 2 sizes too big for me to make sure that I felt comfortable in it. I didn’t feel comfortable in it, and I had a “mini breakdown” before I left because yet again I was too fat to feel pretty on a night out. Now, I do realise this sounds very over dramatic, but in the moment it is happening it is devastating. I don’t think I looked that bad in retrospect, but I am really happy that I am doing something about my weight to make nights like Friday fewer and far between. It will also be brilliant to be able to walk into a normal shop (H&M, Topshop, Dorothy Perkins) and be able to fit into the clothes.
So, after that VERY long rant, I also have a recipe for you! Tea today was Sizzling Pepper Chicken Salad. It was really tasty, and was really fresh. At around 350-400 calories, it was a really easy, low calorie recipe. It only took around 30 minutes to prepare it, and I wasn’t constantly looking after it. I think this will be a really nice one for a warm summer’s evening (if we ever get one).
Sizzling Pepper Chicken Salad
200g Potatoes, scrubbed (I took this as rubbing them till the skin peeled a little bit) and chopped into chunks
2 celery sticks, sliced diagonally
1 red pepper, seeded and sliced
1/4 cucumber, chopped (I quartered it and cut it into chunks)
2 spring onions, sliced diagonally
2 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
Pepper (preferably freshly ground)
1 tbsp olive oil
4 tbsp fat-free Italian-style salad dressing
Put the potatoes into a pan of boiling, slightly salted, water. Boil for about 8-10 mins until tender, then drain. Toss the other vegetables in a bowl. Cut the chicken into strips (the recipe says finger length strips). Toss the chicken with the pepper and a little sal to coat them (this is what the recipe says, however the chicken I used didn’t toss too easily, so just use your hands to turn it all, it’s much quicker!) Heat the olive oil in a wok (or big frying pan if you don’t have a wok), when hot enough, tip the chicken in there. Stir-fry for around 4-6 mins, until all the chicken is cooked through and no longer pink. Add the potatoes to the chicken, and heat through for a little while (I only did for around 2 mins), pour over the dressing (at this point the recpie says it will sizzle furiously, but mine didn’t!! I think this recipe was over-exaggerating) and then tip the contents of the wok over the other veg you prepared previously. Toss together, and serve!